Last Issue, we talked about how scientists invented Gravity Repellent™ and made millions off of it. We also talked about how the scientists, still money-hungry, decided to launch a galactically recognized sport that's sort of like basketball but in zero gravity. It's called Zero-Ball, and it's recieved plenty of optimism. So far, 18 teams have been created- 9 from Uamian countries, 4 from New Kinot Territories, and 5 from other planets 'round the galaxy. Uniforms have already been created and the plan is to have the first Zero-ball season begin next RDMZ year. (I'll explain RDMZ time when the time comes.) The roster hasn't been released yet, but at least we know which countries/planets/territories are competing.In the first category we have Uamian Countries. First come the famous ones, the ones we all know about, such as Kandonia, Malclavia, and Marvelonia. Then come the filler countries- Aecsha, Apica, Lampria, (Old) Kinot, Inderazia, and Capitalia. This is a pretty normal roster so far. After the Uamian countries, there's the New Kinot territories. There are four- Greater Halberstram, Noor, Kyaer, and Firstland. These territories each represent the four directions- Noor is in the North, Kyaer is in the South, G. Halberstram is in the East (though it's more to the center if you ask me), and Firstland is situated in the West. There's not much more to New Kinot, territory-wise. The last category is Planets, or, in other words, places too boring to be split into multiple teams. However, all of them are interesting. Those being- Morath, Woarr, NR2, Naicoriga, and Hathalassos. This category evens out the number of teams, from an odd 13 to an even 18. Naicoriga is here because, legally speaking, they aren't an enemy (yet).
All in all, this is a very intriguingly ambitious ambition of intrigue. Let's hope it all works out well, but in the meantime, I'll buy some Gravity Repellent and un-fall my house. As always, more on this story as it develops.
An annual festival held at Port City, Lampria has just happened- and here's what happened. The show started with the pre-show show, which was stuff about how Lampria is great and blah blah blah stuff like that- just pure propaganda. Afterwards, the real fun begun. A whole bunch of planes launched into the sky, leaving behind colorful trails, all while a band played music at a distance. The planes danced in the sky, creating intricate designs, such as a cursive message in the sky, "Welcome to Lampria!*". The entire show was a display of art, excitement, and, most important of all, entertainment. After the colofrul plane show, there were the races. Multiple planes would race to see who could make it to Plainskey in the shortest amount of time. Plainskey is a city on the opposite side of Lampria, and since the entire race is on land, it means that lamprians that live along the route can see the planes zooming by.
All in all, this was a fun break from the harsh political happenings in Uamia. Wish you were there.
*It appears I do not have a cursive font.
Last night I watched Gradually and I think it's good. Gruadually is a second-age noir movie about a town (called Gradually) that has so much action the town is thinking of renaming to "Suddenly". Also, there's a plot, but it's to long to describe. Go watch it yourself. 7.893/10
Hmm, this article title looks familiar. (It should). For those who don't know, way back in issue 2 we talked about New Kinot houses suddenly going 400 feet in the sky. It appears this is a planetary trend, with Morath suddenly following it. Morath's central (and arguably only) major civilization, Holidikia (plus surrounding villages), has experienced this phenomenon, with no Eisenium in sight. A few theories have arisen about why this is happening, such as the idea that, because of Morath's strange orbital pattern, it keeps nearing random Eisenium asteroids along the way. However, this theory can be easily shot down because if passerby asteroids are the culprit, then why didn't this happen earlier?Morath has had this orbiting anomaly since before anyone can remember, so it must have passed plenty of Eisenium asteroids before. And yet, houses are only floating just now. This may mean that Eisenium isn't what caused the New Kinot gravitational mishap either. Will we ever find the answer? Will these two planets continue to mirror each other? I dunno. More on this story as it develops.
A well-known and seemingly unnamed remote-controlled paper company that went under new management recently (by Jimothy O'DeMacNa-- you get the idea) recently declared bankruptcy after people complained about the new manager's long last name. It was also because of lack of sales, but that's besides the point. Jimothy is now considering renaming himself Jimothy O to save the company. His lawyers told him not to because then the company would go bankrupt because Jimothy would have such a short last name. It's confusing. More on this story as it develops.
An issue ago, a TV channel was blown up. Now, it's un-blown up. We don't know the logic of the situation, but we do know that the Chanel Blow-Upper has successfully un-blown-up Channel 3. This is a triumph for the many broadcasting companies that use 'Channel 3' do broadcast their broadcasts. We tried talking to the blow-upper-turned-un-blow-upper, but we couldn't because we didn't know where he was.
I wonder if he'll get into radio some time.
The correlations between New Kinot and Morath are more than similar. Usually we don't do follow-up articles (or as I like to call them, "sequels") in the same issue, but this is an exception. One (1) New Kinot house has finally fallen down! The person living in the house is named Bobbert Billben, and he suffered a major concussion (he was sleeping and hit his head on the roof because of falling.) Unlike the slow and steady rising of the houses, this house obeyed gravity's orders and went down faster than a person with a jet pack zooming into the ground.
However, this isn't the only happening. another thing to note is that New Kinot has started going off orbit, just like Morath. The good thing is that Baldy's Army already knows where New Kinot at all times, just like every other planet (Morath has been a very recent addition to traceable planets.) Nothing else has changed. Everything (except the other floating houses) has been working gravitationally as usual, and the only thing to worry about is out-of-planet transportation. Now we wait for more info. More on this story as it develops.
Last issue, we talked about how someone stole a bank. Yes, the entire bank. Concrete and all. (I made a point of that.) Anyway, with the help of cranes (which, apparently, the robber stole too, because how else are you gonna steal a bank? Then again, I suppose he could have blamed it on RDMZ logic.) they were able to rescue the stolen bank and drop it onto the place where it belongs. This whole situation is very weird.
Usually I end a story with "More on this story as it develops", but this is the end of the stolen bank arc.
For lack of a better word, goodbye.
It appears that the name 'Kcretzel's Pretzels' is taken. It is now renamed to 'Pretzles' Pretzels' to avoid copyright stuff. And now, with the article:
Blorthank has announced a royal campaign that invloves violence and pretzels. He calls it "The Glorious Pretzel Rampage". He will stab people with pretzels and charge them for the pretzels. He's also using RDMZ logic to make it so he doesn't get caught. (RDMZ logic is what let the man sue the nonexistent company.)
It seems Blorthank is going full force with this pretzel idea. It used to be that Blorthank was a very famous murderer, booze smuggler, and all-around criminal. But now he's gone to this..? I wonder what plans he has for pretzels. As he once said in a recent interview,
"I have money, women, drinks, and henchmen, all at my disposal..... but I don't have pretzels!!"
It appears Blorthank may be going through a phase. More on this story as it develops.
Blorthank was here
Sometime in the recent past, a man by the name of 'man' has been getting quite the attention. A former drinker by heart, he has been saying constantly, "The truth has finally been revealed!!!" with no additional context. However, nonexistent-truth seekers have given this man quite a following. When anyone asks them what this 'truth' is, they get scolded for not believing it.
Believing... what exactly? That's what they're asking.
However, it appears we will never know, since asking that question is unthinkable to those who probably don't know it either.
Many governments have adopted this 'truth', whatever it may be. Some people are realizing that all this doesn't make any sense, but after realizing so they are swiftly silenced. It appears the truth does not want truth.
What's going on here? Will we ever find out what the 'truth' is? Is RDMZ News going to get in trouble for speaking about this?
Let's wait and see.
