With the increasing awareness of New Kinot's Floating Island phenomenon, it's no surprise that companies have appeared looking to make a quick buck off of things like these. The first time this happened, it was in the form of super long ladders, designed specifically to reach these houses in the air. The ladder companies at first needed to get their wood from the taltal trees, which are trees that are able to grow up to 529 feet tall. However, with the recent discovery of new coal & oil mines (prominent ingredients in making plastic), companies have decided to go different routes in making ways to get people down. For example, giant slides have been manufactured for use in giving citizens across Kyaer an opportunity to do their normal out-of-home stuff in a much funner way. The great part is that the slides go hand-in-hand with the ladders. What I'm saying is that slides will be used to get down to the ground, and ladders will be used to go back up to home. It's perfect!
This isn't the only update we have on the floating island fiasco, however. There appears to be an inconsistency with the laws of nature here, that being- why are the islands still floating if the eisenium asteroid already passed the region months ago? That is the new question that puzzles the population of New Kinot at this moment, and an answer is seemingly nowhere. The New Kinot government is doing research on this, and haven't turned up with much. We promise that once we find anything out, we will tell you all. More on this story as it develops.
For those who don't know, Farlo Jaques is the president of Kandonia. A good number of months ago, Jaques made the decision of purchasing 5 spacebuses' worth of Marvinium (an expensive and sort of unneeded source of energy) for 38 Trillion U-coins. That's a lot! Kandonia has been in an economic mud puddle ever since, and will be thanks to its current leader. The most recent blunder was when non-economy related problems started to arise, such as where to store the marvinium in the first place. Jaques bought the marvinium, not the spacebuses! (Our reaserchers dug up the purchase notes and can confirm that the 5 spacebuses being used as storage were never part of the deal).
So, just what will Jaques use to store all the marvinium? Hmm... Marvinium is a material that can absorb heat, being able to melt through things at the right temperature, so it's probably not a good idea to put it somewhere with normally high temperatures... Hmmm..... OH, I KNOW! Let's put the Marvinium in a cave somewhere in southern Kandonia, where temperatures go down to 70 degrees if you're lucky!!
In short, this process went as good as you could expect. Within days, the Marvinium reached the lower mantle with its ground-melting powers thanks to the scorching heat, and now the entire planet of Uamia (and quite possibly other planets around it) are in great risk of a very bad day. The good news is that other people know about this and are doing things about it. For example, multiple research groups and storage facilities are offering space in their facilities to store the marvinium. Also, Baldy's Army is doing an investigation on Jaques to make sure his brain is all right. There's quite a lot going on this case, and it sure is interesting, considering the entire planet of Uamia is at risk with the Marvinium inching closer and closer to the core of the planet. More on this story as it develops.
Last night I watched El Nacho Naranja and it was the best movie I have seen in decades! I loved the pacing and the story, especially when the Nacho gets eaten (we knew it would happen sometime in the movie). Honestly I really wish they kept making movies like this. Rating: 8.5/10
Another story from downtown Marvelonia! Hoo boy! While we don't have an update on Mr.Serif's font army, we do have an update on T.H.E. itself. It turns out that there is a rival criminal group known as The Angry (or A for short) which has double the kill count and an even worse name to write about. (Oh, the grammar confusion!) So, anyway, the reason we bring a up is because they have started attacking places too. Recently, a Museum was hit by a, and it caused great commotion. Then, a bank was hit, this time by the, and then a decided to hit a few company headquarters in the area. The groups are trying to get a one-up on each other. Someday they will attack the Marvelonia city hall (I'm surprised they haven't thought of that yet). Whether or not Mr.Serif will focus on a too we do not know. More on this story as it develops.
Recently, a strange change to the population in Vaweb, Kandonia has been taking place. The more the molden population increases, the more the human population decreases. This is because the humans are being killed by the moldmen and whatever mold that grows from the human corpses gets harvested by the moldmen. This whole thing has now attracted the Vaweb police force and is getting more disturbing by the minute. More on this story as it develops.
A few days ago, a TV channel was blown up. You may be confused as to why I call it a 'TV channel' and not a 'TV Station', but that is because no TV station was harmed. It was only the channel.
Someone blew up 'channel 3' at a TV manufacturer's headquarters, and now anyone who uses that TV brand will go from channel 2 to channel 4 whenever they're switching channels.
Since many organizations use channel 3 to broadcast their broadcasts, it was no surprise that some people would be angry. The TV manufacturer now orders that whoever blew up channel 3 must un-blow-up it. More on this story as it develops.
Earlier this month, a few scientists were able to successfully alter gravity. And yes, this gravity-alterer is as authentic as possible. It does not use pressurized air to make it feel like gravity has changed, nor is it rapidly moving in the air to create the illusion. Instead, this has all to do with atoms. Y'see, scientists have been working on a way to alter atoms from certain objects so the object's weight could work against whatever the current gravity is. This means that if you give a bookshelf a coat of Gravity Repellent™, then the bookshelf should start floating around the place. It's doing exactly the opposite of what gravity wants to do.
Right now the question in everyone's minds is probably this: "How could I profit off this?"
Well, we have an answer. Scientists have already made millions on the Gravity Repellent™ so there's no need to do that again. Instead, what if they could turn it into a sport where people could pay to see games of people playing some sort of competitive game in zero gravity?
Enter Zero-Ball. This new sport has similar premises to Basketball- that is, there is a hoop on each team's side of the stadium and you need to get the ball through the other team's hoop. Teams are already getting made, and Baldy's Army has already greenlit the idea.
This phenomenon may inspire a sports section to be in RDMZ News, where we could also report on existing RDMZ sports, such as Swishball and Korfball.
Earlier this morning, while a new bank in Stream City (Kandonia) was nearing the final stage of construction, it was robbed. However, no money was taken.
The robber took the ENTIRE BANK. CONCRETE AND ALL.
It turned into a square of dirt overnight.
Police have been trying to locate this shameless madlad ever since this incident. They figured it would be easy since it's very difficult to hide a stolen bank.Eventually they found it underwater, about 20 miles off the northern coast of Kandonia.Once they found the man behind this, they found out that he was a member of the, of all things. As they were going to arrest the the member, he swam towards the bank as was never seen again.
Crime is confusing.
Earlier this morning, Blorthank, the (exisent) owner of the (nonexistent) company, Kcretzel's Pretzels, was discovered to be the owner of the company. They discovered that after they tapped into phone lines and discovered that Blorthank was hiding in plain sight. Every time someone would call Blorthank (who is a ruthless crime boss in downtown Marvelonia, as I should have told you earlier), Blorthank would respond (in a creepy voice) "I LOVE PRETZELS! I LOVE PRETZELS! I LOVE PRETZELS!" and he did this all while whispering.
What does Blorthank's pretzel lust have to do with him being the owner of the company?
I dunno. Apparently he's the owner too.
Regardless, the fact that a crime boss is behind a pretzel company makes everyone stutter in fear. What's worse is that this is a nonexistent pretzel company. What are the stakes and implications for something that doesn't exist?
But besides that, the Marvelonian police are looking into this, to make sure the buisness is all well and good. They want to know about Blorthank's pretzel obsession, whether or not it is healthy, and whether or not it is legal.
Perchance.