Baldy and his army have unleashed upon us a new invention that may very well spoil the next generation (like social media). These are called Teledoors, and they let people teleport to different places. Here's How it works- Before entering a Teledoor, enter in the name of the place you want to go to. Make sure that your destination also has a Teledoor installed, otherwise you'll end up in the Teledoor database in NR2. Enter in the name in that weird brick-looking keypad. (Hey, they designed the Teledoor, not us.) Anyway, once the Teledoor accepts the location, you may open it. Open it as long as you need, because once it's closed, the Teledoor will lock and you won't be able to go back.So what are the mechanics behind teledoors? Well, each time a location code is inputed, It sends a signal to the database to change the door's destination. And the door changes destination. By the way, If you somehow unlock it while it's locked without entering something in, you'll end up in level pi of The Backrooms. Fun!The door works by transporting your atoms at super-high speeds so you remain alive at the destination, and you still have memory. Quite complicated. Baldy has been working on this for quite a while, too. Our inside man told us about this project years ago. More on this story as it develops.
Last issue, we talked about a Nebula-within-a-nebula that was given the name FNHFRY^R#$UF#TXZDFYGR%$rte4t433rt6rVCFRDERH, or "Henry" for short. At the end of the article, we said that the scientists who discovered it are now working on a longer name for Henry. They've finally done it. Henry's new (lengthened) name is:
FNHFRY^R#$UF#TXZDFYGR%$rte4t433rt6rVCFRDERHfdshvfudsvbfretbuhgreybgg8dbhvsHABSHADVASKHBhja-
vbhabVKHASBVHASBVKHARIU#QIUVNK
W*IVHVJAhfe738qvbhaDASHHJEAFKHVUAKHVBFHAVHJFAAVEAHV
(The nebula's shortened name remains "Henry.")
It's not every day you wake up to see your house floating about 400 feet the air. I hope. But that exact thing is happening to citizens of New Kinot, a habitable planet that has acted as a second Uamia. It's perfectly in the Goldilocks zone, and it looks just like Uamia. the grass is green, the sky is blue, the trees are normal (as far as normal goes), it's as if you've never left! Many people live there now, thanks to the PIP initiative (see Issue #1 of RDMZ news for an article on that). What's happening now is that certain places in the state of Kyaer (pronounced Kyar) have been subject to a gravitational mishap. Some pieces of land, notably ones with homes on them, have suddenly been lifted approximately 400 feet in the air. It's very hard to get down. This is the gravity of the situation. Claiming that this all happened overnight, the citizens are slowly but surely being rescued down. One person recorded a video of one of land rising into the sky. Click here to see said video. But anyway the New Kinot government is conducting experiments on a small village that was victim to this, to find out how this was done. This is certainly a story you just can't put down.
Did you know Baldy has his own personal home? Me neither. He's got a whole sector in NR2 dedicated to just him and his personal life, named "Baldy's House." Baldy's House also houses the Stuffed Animal race, a particularly strange race of animals whose organs are made out of cotton. Some theorize that in other dimensions, 'Stuffies' are lifeless and used as toys. They're crazy. Anyway, the Stuffies have a personal island of theirs, called "Stuffy Island." (Obviously.) Bordering Stuffy island is a river. But not any kind of river. It has special water that floats. Yes, you heard me right. At first, it looks like a normal river, but below the river is a ravine. and the ravine is dry (not wet). Baldy has many things in the ravine. It is the signature entrance of his airplane (pictured above. Notice the similarities of the plane and Baldy). It comes out of a cave in the ravine and slowly emerges from the river into the air, and it takes off. This is his personal plane for casual trips, though. He has many battle planes and other sorts of military vehicles for other situations.
Across the river/ravine lies Baldy's island. It's the center of everything. On there is a vast quarry (basically flat lands of dirt.) This is used for weapon testing and as a front yard, as well as a parking lot if someone visits.
You heard us use the term 'front yard.' front yard of what, you may ask? Well, the main entrance of Baldy's house, of course!
Baldy's house looks like some weird kind of glitched out circuity entrance (See below). That's because it's exactly that. (Save for the 'glitched out' part. Once you enter, you're greeted by many guards making sure you aren't a Naicrigan spy. After all the security checks, you go down the elevator. The floors are as follows (in descending order):
1-Kitchen/Living room/Mancave
2- Big Serious Laboratory
3- Gym/Lockers
4- Homes (for Baldy's fellow birds, e.g. Buzzy, Puffer)
5- Meeting room (for meetings)
6- Sample room (weird stuff to bring back to floor 2 for testing)
7- Lots of pipes, lots of water and electricity stuff
8 to 15- vehicle & weapon manufacturing rooms
Let's skip a few...
271- Hard-to-get items
272- Very valuable items
273- Peace treaties & Proofs of historical events
274- Other historical valuable stuff
275- Most Valuable things (VERY hard to get to this level, there are 24/7 guards)
And beyond that level it's just endless void.
Baldy's kitchen features many state-of-the art electronic equipment, such as a Smart Table, which scans the food on it and recommends drinks & sides to go with it. It can also change the table texture and how it looks, like if you want the wood to be a certain pattern, or if you want some of it to be dark wood, etc. It can also automatically 'tidy up' the table, organizing everything on it. It can also save bits of food from falling onto the floor. (REALLY useful.)
Baldy also has a smart sink, which changes water temperature to his personalized preference.
Well, that's all that the guards would let us document for today. Next issue, we will keep documenting the technology Baldy uses in his every day life. Join us next time!
The word 'IRAS' is sure to get a scientist's attention. They're the latest craze in research. They're big lights 3 trillion times as bright as an Ümler.Scientists are still surprised they could take the photo above without damaging the camera completely. It's very hard to find an IRAS, hence the fact they've only discovered it now.
Every time they are found, they seem to stay in their exact place, but when scientists return to the place again, it is gone. Professional nerds will tell you it is a 'great source of light, seemingly sentient- though it never changes form or size. All IRASes seem to be the same size. I personally think there is only one IRAS and not multiple.'
Baldy has since then told the scientists to stop studying the IRASes immediately or he'll 'fix their brains'. Something is clearly behind all of this. Baldy has a tendency to be a man of mystery sometimes.
RDMZ is such a complex universe it would be rude not to have unique storylines attached to certain elements. So I made a story. This will be a continuous story, serialized in RDMZ news issues to come. The story starts with a question, and today's is: How does Baldy send and receive mail?
For those who have been given an introduction on RDMZ, the answer may appear obvious. It's the living car tires from the Kryptos mailing system planet! But no. The tires' job is to sort it out and deliver to different planets, of course, NR2 is one of the many planets they mail to, but they only drop off mail at the mail-collecting facilities. The people on the planets then sort it out to different countries & cities and it's all history from there. So we can rule out the tires.
The mail collection facility can also be ruled out. Royal mail has its own facility. It is passed to one man who treacherously gives Baldy the products he needs. The mailman's name is Sphyrx (Fear-iks). Sphyrx takes the packages and goes to the Monorail Royale D'Air (Floating Royal Monorail) (pictured below) Which goes to the Mailbox floor in Baldy's house (one of the floors we skipped in page 3). He drops off the packages and goes back to his home. Simple as that.
However, being the the entirely & exclusively appointed accountant appointed to acquire perpetually perilous parcels of products comes with its daringly dangerous disadvantages. Sphyrx is constantly at risk of being attacked by depressingly demeaning daredevils dominating the domain of dysfunctional domains. Don't ask us what that means 'cause I don't know either. Point is, people are trying to assassinate him and/or give him a bad day. Specifically Naicorigans and Malumians. You'll see who Malumians are, soon enough. The Monorail Royale D'Air has even been hijacked multiple times. Thankfully Sphyrx has a military history, and can defend himself and do his job well.
What would a metropolis look like? Well, regardless of your idea, there exists a metropolis-like city in Uamia.
Y'see, this city is named Marvelonia, in Songo. (Songo is the continent). It is a super advanced city that features many buildings and many different modes of transportation. One of those is The INVIS, or the Indivisible Nonimplosive Vacuum (If I'm Serious) is like a glass tube that you get shot through. Sometimes you go at about 60 miles per hour, sometimes at 90. It's very fast. It also slows down a lot when you reach your destination. Some people live in very thin apartment towers where floors are only accessible through INVIS. You need a code to enter such places.
Marvelonia's shape is like a giant circle with the town hall in the middle. The circle is divided into slices like a pizza. There's a calm suburban slice, there's an urban/futuristic slice, there's sports slices (they have stadiums), and there's also the bucolic rural slice.
In conclusion, Marvelonia is home to many communities, including Kandonians, Lamrpians, New Kinotians, and even non-humans. It is also home to lots of exciting music and lots of exciting food. Would recommend taking a visit to this city.
So far, you haven't heard me talk about personal technology like phones or computers. If you have, then you are either reading this article again or are reading it from a future in which you did hear me talk about personal technology like phones or computers.
Technology is integrated a great deal into society. Some could say it is the society. It all began with some person who somehow successfully put electricity in a bottle. He used the bottled electricity in many experiments, like lighting up lights and the sort. He made the world's first screen, made of a 5x5 grid of tiny lights, came to be known as pixels. As the lights became smaller and smaller, more and more technology was to be made for the better resolution. First, the person (named Dorian*) made a display which could toggle the phrase "HELLO WORLD" on and off. This was made by making a ciruit board to tell certain lights to light up, creating the image of a letter. Then, his next project (which took him a couple years) was making a digital typewriter. He could type things on a 'board of keys' (an input device he designed) and it would show up as letters on the screen. He had made a technological breakthrough. Dorian patented his masterpieces and started partnering with scientists to explore the potential- and then take advantage of it. He made a working calculator within his invention (the invention had a name at this stage- 'The Lightbox'), and then perfected his typewriter system, and kept on inventing. He made specialized printers to scan letters on the page and deliver them in normal font form. This, along with many other features, became part of The Lightbox 1.0, a computer of only text. Eventually someone gave computers a bit more feeling by adding color, and making a 'graphical user interface' (or 'GUI' as the kids call it). They based it off columns of a newspaper, as well as many other household items users could relate to. The Lightbox then expanded to pen-powered electric drawing boards, and then touchscreen. They improved the GUI, made software, and even pioneered the wireless electricity system with a chat application. They then realized the potential of wireless technology and created a network of information run by servers and radiowave emitters, known as the Global Data Superhighway, or GDS ("Giddis") for short. They pioneered what we know now as cornerstones in society- just in a different universe. Interesting.