RDMZ NEWS- Issue 1

Baldy's Speech: An Analysis

Baldy gave a recent speech about what he's been up to, You didn't watch the news, so we're not gonna tell you what he talked about. But actually we are. Baldy's Army has set up ASRs (Advanced Spacewave Receivers) on Morath to send and recieve signals from the communications sector of NR2. Baldy says this will act as a way to pinpoint where Morath is at any given time. How will Baldy's Army know where to send signals? One of our reporters got to ask Baldy this exact question, and here was Baldy's answer: "We will send signals in absolutely every direction- we have already built a station for it- and the signals we will send are made of waves specifically to be received by the receivers on Morath.""Hopefully such signals won't disrupt anything. We were careful to create a unique wave emitter for this equipment. Experiments have not been done yet."

Some people that heard this story were quite paranoid. They didn't want their Wireless Fidelity (or Wi-Fi, as the kids call it) accidentally disrupted. Some believe Baldy knows what he's doing, or that he can do whatever he wants to, because he's Baldy. Some smartypants scientists were experimenting with invisible waves to see if they could come up with a unique wave, because they were unsure a unique wave could be made. A reporter from our rival newspaper, "RDMZ News But Better", asked Baldy about his opinions on these scientists. Baldy replied to them saying he respects their curiosity but politely wants them to stop their research because their test waves may disrupt Baldy's experiments. Many believe he has a point.

Of course, these aren't the only questions Baldy was being asked. There were lots of reporters, hence the mics in the photo. One of the questions was if the Morathian government knew about this. Baldy responded by saying the Morathian government approved and endorsed the idea. Another question was how long this project was in development. Baldy says he and the team have been working on this for a while now, and are lucky they could locate Morath to deploy the soldiers to plant the ASRs.

In conclusion, this is quite an ambitious and beneficial project Baldy is making. Morathians and Non-Morathians alike hope this can successfully work. More on this story as it Develops.

Farlo Jaques to buy shipment of marvinium for 38 Trillion U-coins

Farlo Jaques, president of Kandonia, recently made a purchase of all the marvinium stored in 5 spacebuses he found , which were unclaimed. The price he offered is horrendously high, as many say. He offered to buy it for 38 trillion U-coins. 38 Trillion! People from both Kandonian political parties think that's just too much. Jaques was criticized about this price, and when confronted about it, quietly told the asking individual that he's just trying to look rich. I think the Kandonians need a new president. Jaques is very clearly wasting money here, just to flex on other Uamian countries. I mean, hey, buying materials for your country is one thing, but unnecessarily using 27% (Yes, you heard me right!) of its money on said materials is another!!

Scientists discover "Nebula within a Nebula" In recent exploration mission

These crazy scientists don't know when to stop exploring.On a recent exploration mission in the Monstros Nebula, Mr. Upidstay and his team discovered a Nebula inside Monstros- a nebula within a nebula! In true scientist fashion, they decided to name it:

FNHFRY^R#$UF#TXZDFYGR%$rte4t433rt6rVCFRDERH

Or "Henry" for short. The Scientists beieve that FNHFRY^R#$UF#TXZDFYGR%$rte4t433rt6rVCFRDERH will be a great addition to their collection of unimaginably complicated strings of numbers, along with gems such as- HGBSANFSHUD8827490, GASUFIHHIEOHFOAOHFNVB7436w6472493HBBSA, and 8. The scientists are now working on a longer name for Henry.

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A retrospective on NR2's Planet Inhabitance Projects so far.

A long time ago, NR2 launched an initiative to inhabit uninhabited (but still Goldilocks zone) planets. The idea, known as PIP (Planet Inhabitance Project) was a huge sucess, creating many diverse civilizations and giving volunteers new homes. Today we will look back on each and every time people have been transported to different planets, and all the transportation shenanigans with it.

The project began with planet Hathalasos, the planet of sea (mythologists believe this to be concno's homeland.). The project went well until Baldy realized there were no islands and everyone drowned. Baldy made some islands, and whaddya know, the people didn't drown. Success! Except for the drowning on the first try.

The next one was a bit more challenging. It was Morath. Baldy and his Army were doing something very ambitious. They had all the transportation spacebuses. They waited until Morath was in the right position. Then they launched. Due to there being a massive civilization over there right now (Holidikia), we can safely assume that that project went successful.

Then there was that one rift in the universe that Baldy sent a spacebus through. But that's unrelated. Then there was New Kinot, that's right, and entire PLANET named after just a small country in Odnak. New Kinot was a peaceful, grassy planet, kind of like the Malclavian Plains. It was perfect for civilization, save for the giant native animals that popped out of nowhere and scared the visitors.

Malclavia Day Celebration!

Today we bring you news that is not of great distress. The Malclavians are celebrating Malclavia day, which marks when explorer Jules Malclave discovered the land of Malclavia. The story goes as this: Jules Malclave, a Kinotian man, once saw large ships attack the shore near the town he lived. He decided to go on an expedition to see where the ships came from. He left with one of the attackers (named Cabe) to act as a guide. Both Jules and Cabe understood completely different languages, so they made up a language mix for each other. Jules and Cabe journeyed through what is now Kandonia, until they reached Fo'ei, the Malclavian island that Cabe calls home. Jules departed from his new friend and told his village back at Kinot about the places he had gone. Most didn't believe him. Some decided to partner with Jules and explore all kinds of lands Jules mentioned. For the rest of his life, Jules and his team (which consisted of his brother, Vernon, and a few people from the village) explored and mapped out Kandonia and Malclavia (which, if it wasn't obvious enough, is named after Jules) and made them known to the outside world. It was like a new undiscovered world. Eventually these countries were urbanized and turned into modern countries, with mega-cities and all that sort.

Malclavians celebrate Malclavia day annually on the day they believe that Jules first landed on Fo'ei. They launch Fireworks, eat snacks, and later in the night, share stories of Malclavian mythology, like odd things Jules discovered while exploring the area. The president of the country has a feast with his fellow officials while the citizens party hard throughout the rest of the land. They have many traditions, like there's an event where citizens dress up and act like ancient Malclavians, at the time of Jules Malclave. There's also strange-looking fireworks in the colors of the Malclavian flag. It's a huge celebration, to say the least. I would recommend going there, maybe you could make some new friends.